Americans are pancake imperialists

If I had the time I'd make a slideshow of the worldwide variety of pancakes with the song it's a small world after all. (Not that that'd be very relevant but it'd at least activate the awareness of diversity of those who went to disneyworld).

I admit it, we Europen heathens conspire against Catholics - rawr!

One of the biggest reasons why I hate institutionalised religion: The institutions can't cope with changes and threats in society and rather get people killed and desperately stick to the old traditions than wanting to change for the good of human kind... since change is loss of power and loss of flock of those in command. Or heck, they just invent an other kind of truth.

Take the head of the Mozambique Catholic Church: Mister Chimoio claims that two European countries made condoms that are infected with HIV dilebirately. The - mind me god - heathens deliberately plan to infect every non pure Catholic African who commits heathen actions like not waiting till you get married and using condoms to do that in a (what heathens make us belief) safe manner. May god screw you powermongers, but with a condom (all in a symbolic way dear upset cardinals, just as everything what can be found in the bible - all ready to be applied to and interpreted in the current timeframe).

How can the Catholic religion be 'so respectful about life' ... forcing raped women who got pregnant to give birth regardless of the circumstances and refusing an end to the life of suffering terminally sick people who beg to die (or begged earlier to do it if it ever came to this while vegetating on machines that cost so much per day that it could save a couple of dozen other peoples lives in less rich countries) ... so respectful about life at the start and the end while during the process spoiling them with the - apparently not suitable rule for the created ones - to abstain from sex till you found the true one. Dear brothers, let's be straight: it kills people. Heck, the pure theological power mongers (priests, cardinals, popes) never were supposed to have sex, so how can they know it's even worth 'waiting' for till marriage. Oh yeah, because we're divine creatures, created and different than animals. We, created ones, function differently. Heathens just want to make beasts out of us to eventually prove their point. Well, it just makes me want to eat that gold ribbonned Catholic class honors card and howl like a wolf.

An omission (failure to act) is a sin too, Catholic earthlings. 'Ich habe es nicht gewusst' got rather old. Stand up, make the rock tremble on which your church is built, time to start praying for revolution!

Two rooms (almost) finished, whee!

And yes, that's a vintage renovated rainpipe running through my house.

Has Belgium got a penis fixation?

Happy prostate day everyone. Today one of our most famous monuments, Manneken Pis, is dripping to celebrate this. We also recently invited the artist Paul Mccarthy over to present his huge inflatable art ... like a huge Santa holding a dildo. After the open air museum of middelheim near Antwerp, he's coming to the SMAK in Ghent where they're tearing walls down to make 'it' all fit. Oh and we also renovated our aluminium balls monument. It finally shines again like it once used to. Don't believe those rumours about Belgium being on the verge of crumbling, we're standing proud!

The penis fixation doesn't only influence our cultural patrimony, it also penetrates our every day lives. At least that's what I noticed when I scrolled through the pictures I took during the last few weeks.

A walk through nature (De Westhoek, well-known for bird-watching)	Meet Mozart (aka the priapism iguana) , our national pride & mascot
Gotta lube chocolate (candy shop in the main train station of Ghent)	Think global, act local. Want a sip of coke? Contains an extra secret Belgian ingredient. Taste the coke side of belgium!

Beermat

Ever wondered what two guys do when they're out drinking in an Irish pub? Hitting on girls? Maybe, but an important soccer match was being broadcasted... so watching soccer? Nah, here's the summary of our conversation:

Ok, I'm a dork sometimes

Note to self

Avoid this place till the Gentse Feesten is all over - bad hangover from too small cocktails. And nope, I wasn't drunk, just vewy tipseh!

House renovation

I started renovating my house last january. The two top rooms should be finally done by mid-august. Tomorrow is Ikea-day, I'll go hunting for the 'Malm' bed, nightstand and drawers, 'Markör' bookcases and of course a 'Leksvik' wardrobe. I'll so need Wasa Knäckebrot to start my day.

Boring cheeseheads

After enjoying a week filled with scientifically and politically correct cross-cultural psychology congress-frenzyness in the Netherlands ... I would think all of my stereotypes about the Dutch would have vanished ... let's see.

I could define them as intolerant, loud, extravert, stingy, but let’s face it … it doesn’t touch the core: the Dutch are boring cheeseheads when it comes to food – considering the richness of the French and Belgian cheese traditions with their variation in tastes, texture, colors and hairs growing inside, that’s the only conclusion I can make after three days of three choices of gouda during congress dinner: plain, nettle or cumin (the protestant Dutch trinity of cheese). Sometimes I wonder if cross-cultural differences in food habits can be explained by socio-psychological phenomena only, or if the Dutch lack certain food taste genes.

One of the few things we (the Flemish speaking Belgians) do have in common with the Dutch is the language. Disregarding the dialects, we are supposed to speak kinda the same language. Ok, After beating up the guy who told me my conference presentation was very “enerverend” (in Flanders that means making him nervous and restless) I found out that “enerverend” means exciting up North. And ok, someone who says ‘ik ga even poepen’ is something we understand as I’m going for a quick fuck, while they just have a toilet visit …you see: nothing major. But whatever you do as a Flemish speaking belgian: don’t ever try ordering a sparkling water up there. While Spa is a Belgian small city known for its springs and bottled water that is exported internationally, the Dutch claimed ‘Spa red’ (the version with red bottle caps) their word for sparkling water, refusing to accept or learn any other synonym. So when we order a spuit-(sparkling)water they just look dumb or degrading. Since we were in international company and needed some spa red with our wine and safe non-Dutch food, I tried the English variant: Could we get a bottle of sparkling water please. The Gouda style Dutch waitress replied: Sparkling water with bubbles?

Out of pure misery and after some local beers without much backbone later on that evening, we decided to try the only true specialty the Dutch can claim when it comes to food: wallwide ‘automat’s’ filled with fried meat and crust combo’s: premade, always colder than they should be and fat! … but oh so Dutch.